We’ve all done it. Someone asks “How are you?” and before your brain even checks in with your soul, your mouth blurts out: “Yeah good!”.
Spoiler: you’re not always good. None of us are. Some days you’re thriving, other days you’re crying into your pasta wondering if Mercury’s in retrograde or if it’s just your hormones being little sh*ts again.
And that’s why R U OK Day matters. It’s not about chucking out a polite “You good?” and ticking the box. It’s about asking the question like you actually give a damn and being ready for the messy, not-so-neat answers.
So if you wanna show up for your people (and not just let the convo drift into awkward silence), here are some tips on how to handle it when someone says “Nah mate, I’m not.”
HOW TO NOT BE A USELESS LEGEND
- Make it casual AF. Don’t stage a therapy session in aisle 9 of Woolies. Ask them on a walk. Or after you’ve dropped off a meal. Or while you’re both sitting on the couch pretending to watch Netflix.
- Facetime > texts. Emojis don’t cut it. You can’t see if someone’s about to cry through a thumbs up symbol. Phone calls or a Facetime go a long way when it comes to showing your loved ones support.
- Mind your words. Don’t shut them down with “Oh, okay.” or “Right.” Follow up with “That sounds bloody rough” or “How long have you been feeling like this?” Validation > empty filler words.
- Shut up and listen. Silence is uncomfortable, but that’s where the good sh*t spills out. Don’t plug it with your own stories. Let them talk for as long as they need to.
- Encourage action. Set another time to check in. Gently suggest they speak to someone pro if they need more backup. Seeing a psych isn’t shameful, it’s bloody brave.
Checking in on your nearest and dearest isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up, swearing a little and reminding them they’re not alone in the sh*tstorm.
For more helpful resources on how to check in on your friends and family, visit R U OK.
And in the meantime, why not send the peeps you care about most a care package. We could all do with a few more smiles, some giggles and a f*ck ton of F-bombs when life’s kicking us in the tits.
