Sometimes, life hands you sh*t on a plate. PMS, traffic, passive-aggressive bosses, tax bills, existential dread… all coming at you like dodgeballs.
But instead of rage-texting your frenemy or crying into your pasta bowl, what if you could roll on the good stuff and snap the f*ck out of it?
That’s the magic of essential oil rollers. They won’t cure your entire life, but they will hack into your limbic system (aka the mood-control panel in your brain).
Smells can literally shift your emotional state faster than tequila on an empty stomach. Add the ritual of swiping oils over your pulse points + actually breathing for once, and suddenly you’ve got a nervous system intervention in your pocket.
CHILL THE F*CK OUT
When your cortisol’s throwing a rave and you need to shut the party down.
This roller is basically DND mode for your nervous system.
- Frankincense calms ya farm
- Patchouli relaxes your squirrel brain
- Sandalwood grounds your wobbles
- Myrrh tells anxiety to shhh
- Geranium reins in your stressy outbursts
Swipe on wrists, temples, heart or anywhere your stress demon is clocking overtime. Breathe in, exhale like a dramatic queen and bask in the weighted-blanket vibes.
FML
When life’s a relentless circus and you’re the unwilling clown.
Your rock-bottom panic button in a roller.
- Frankincense dials down the mental soap opera
- Sandalwood drags you out of the spin cycle
- Lavender hushes your nervous twitch
It’s an oily intervention so you don’t throw a stapler at someone. Keep it handy for traffic jams, Karens, and meetings that should’ve been emails.
SORE AS F*CK
When beast mode felt good yesterday but today you can’t sit without swearing.
An SOS for your post-gym body.
- Wintergreen + peppermint = icy assassins for muscle pain
- Lavender = tells your aching body to shut the f*ck up
Roll it over screaming shoulders, trembling quads or hamstrings that feel personally victimised. Limp less, pretend you didn’t almost weep mid-lunge.
ZERO F*CKS
When adulting is cancelled and your to-do list can choke.
This is your citrus-scented resignation letter.
- Bergamot + orange wrap you in a bright cloud of giving less f*cks
- Frankincense adds a whirl of apathy
It’s borderline therapeutic how good being unbothered feels. Roll it on, sniff and let the world handle itself.
LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE
When everyone’s breathing too loud and you can’t move to a cave (yet).
Your energetic f*ck-off in a bottle.
- Grapefruit shakes off the sludge
- Cedarwood keeps you from throwing hands
- Geranium tells idiots to back off
Doesn’t stop dumbasses from contacting you, but wraps your fried soul in a citrus-scented cloak of boundaries.
WTAF
When life’s kicked you in the tits and you’re one laundry pile away from disappearing.
Not your grandma’s floral, this is a ctrl+alt+delete for your nervous system.
- Nerolina + ylang ylang cancel chaos
Roll it on pulse points, breathe deep, and downgrade “what the actual f*ck” to “meh, whatever.”
YOU
When you’ve forgotten you’re That Bitch™.
This is pure citrus-fuelled self-worship.
- Lemon revives your spirit
- Bergamot boosts your confidence
- Orange slaps your aura awake
Swipe it, sniff it, bask in your own brilliance. Adjust your invisible crown and get back to being the main character.
How to Use ‘Em
- Roll onto wrists, temples, behind ears or over your heart.
- Breathe like you actually want oxygen in your body. (Long inhale, dramatic sigh out)
- Repeat as needed — i.e. every time life is cooked.
Feel like you’re a different mood every day of the week? You probably need our Emotional Support Crew, babe. All 7 vibes for all 7 meltdowns.
Roll on. Rage less. Repeat.
